Crop circles - the mystery is solved!

Several of my Clients have robot mowers: automatic mowing machines that trundle around your lawn, on a pretty much continual basis, mincing up the grass into tiny little pieces.

They work fantastically if your lawn is large, and is a fairly simple shape, and although they are pretty expensive to buy and to have installed, they do mean that you will never again have to push the mower round, or have to dispose of piles of grass clippings. 

And your lawn is always, always, perfect.

If you've never encountered them, they are great fun to watch: the installers sink a control wire all round the perimeter of the lawn, which acts as an electric fence to keep them in, and to prevent them wandering off the lawn and eating your flowers. They are programmed to bumble around at random within that area, turning back whenever they encounter the wire:  or whenever they bump into anything, such as wheelbarrows, garden furniture, or my boots, while I am working.

When their battery starts to run low, they drive themselves back to their charging port, and plug themselves in - so you never have to rescue a forlorn, exhausted robo-mower from the far end of the garden.

The programming seems to be quite simple: there must be some sort of algorithm to prevent them doing the same patch over and over again, but otherwise they wander around like motorised sheep, randomly covering the area, and eating continuously.

One elderly gentleman calls his one Lorna (Lawn-er, get it?), and says that he enjoys sitting in his conservatory, watching her working out how to get out of the corners: he says it's just like when his grandchildren were very small.

Elsewhere, I have a Client whose robot mower seems to like me, because although it is a very large garden, within minutes of me starting to work, the mower bumps into my ankles. And quite often, it will change direction to intercept me, as I walk around the garden. The owner says I am imagining it. I am not so sure. 

Anyway, the other day, I was highly amused to see this:

It was going round in circles! Creating a lovely crop circle in the grass! 

I thought it had got stuck, so I put my foot in front of it, which forced it to stop, twiddle round, and head off in another direction. 

But seconds later, there he was (I'm pretty sure this one is a boy, as he seems to have a fatal attraction for me), going round in circles again!

Fascinated, I bumped him off course again, and watched: he ran off in a straight line, then stopped: hesitated: went backwards a short distance: then started to turn hard right, and after a couple of revolutions, started spiralling outwards.

Apparently they can sense the length of the grass, so if they encounter a patch which is longer than the surrounding grass, they give it special attention until it is evenly short again, at which point they return to their straight-line wanderings.

But it is kind of fun, watching them creating beautiful crop circles in the lawn!

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Is it worth buying top quality secateurs?

This is one of those topics which always interests me: so many professional gardeners - and amateurs, for that matter - make a big deal about only buying Felco secateurs, whereas I personally buy Wilco cheapy tools for less than a tenner, use them until they break, then throw them away and buy a new pair.

At this point, the Felco Owners Club look at me in horror, and say things like "but I've had these Felcos for 200 years and they're still going strong: I've replaced the blades three times, had four new springs, and two new sets of handles..." 

Ok, that last bit was a joke, but yes, Felco owners will always justify the exorbitant cost of their posh secateurs by saying that you can send the blades back to be sharpened, or you can buy replacement blades for them at "just" £30 a time... but in my opinion,  for the money, I would rather have ten pairs of cheap secateurs, each lasting a couple of years.

Here's a sample of my current selection of cheapy secateurs, and yes, they are standing up on their sides - don't ask! 

I think the most expensive ones are the clean ones, the Fiskars bypass, second from right: and I think they might have cost £12.

I should point out that I sharpen my (cheap) secateurs very often, probably once every couple of weeks, so it's not a question of sharpness: the springs tend to break, so I have a box full of assorted springs on hand, and when I finally throw out a pair, I always take the spring off, and re-use it: in fact, the weakest link in all the secateurs tends to be the locking latch. Once that wears out, they become impossible to use effectively and efficiently. I used to send them back to the manufacturer and have them replace the latch, along with the suggestion that they should source stronger latch material... 

So, back to Why?

Because I abuse my secateurs, that's why. I'm a professional gardener, I'm paid (as it were) by the minute, so I can't waste time running back to my car every five minutes to get a pair of loppers, or a pruning saw, if the items which I am cutting are just slightly too thick for the secateurs. Instead, I just abuse the secateurs by forcing them through tougher/thicker branches than they are comfortable with. 

There are a couple of techniques for cutting over-sized branches with under-sized tools (heh heh) which I won't share with you now, but they are not really good for the tools.

I also use them for cutting roots, under ground - and anyone who uses bladed tools knows that "earth" is the worst possible things for blades, because the small particles of rock damage and blunt the blades. You should never, ever use a bladed tool - secateurs, loppers, pruning saws - in such a way that the come into contact with the soil.

Yet I do it, all the time, because I have to. I can't stop to wash every particle of dirt off a branch or root, before I cut it - I'm paid to be efficient, to be effective, to be fast... so I abuse my tools, terribly.

If I had posh Felco secateurs, at £50+ a pair, I would not abuse them in this way! So they wouldn't be much use to me, would they?!

And that, dear reader, is why I don't have expensive posh secateurs.

Mind you, under the general heading of "there is no right or wrong in gardening", I do currently have a pair of very expensive secateurs.... a friend gave them to me for Christmas, and at first they stayed at home, unused, until the friend commented, somewhat crossly, that they were supposed to be used, not looked at. 

So I started using them, and they're doing quite well so far: they've lasted the best part of a year, no damage or breakage, despite being abused etc: I've only just had to start sharpening them, so they've held their edge well: but, despite being very "nice", they do have a couple of drawbacks.

Firstly, they are noisy. Every time they open, they make a small metallic noise. It's caused by that nappy-style spring, and no amount of WD40 prevents it. It's quite annoying.

When they close, they make a very satisfactory "snick", which is nice: I've written before about Clients commenting that they find me, in their gardens, by listening for the snick of the secateurs. 

The latch is an excellent design: it's not left- or right-handed, and I always appreciate that in my tools (I train all students, trainees and mentorees to learn to use most tools in either hand). Initially, I didn't like it, because it needed two hands to operate, which is just silly: but after a while, I got the hang of flicking it open by  "catching" it on my clothing, and closing it by simply nudging it against my leg. 

So far, then, all good.

But there are two design flaws which I find quite annoying; the constantly-annoying one is that they "slide" down in your hand: as you release the handles from making a snip, the spring is sufficiently strong that it pings itself open, and the angle of the red handle, the one that lies against the thumb, is not sharp enough to stay solidly in place, in your hand.

So if you are doing a repeated series of snips, by the time you've done about five, they are almost out of your hand, so you have to stop and re-adjust your grip on them. That is super-annoying. 

I tried to get a photo to illustrate the problem:

Here is my hand, doing three successive "snips".

You can see how they are slipping down inside my hand, with each action.

I asked the friend who gave them to me, and they have exactly the same problem. So it's not just me...

 

The other issue is that point at which the two handles meet, just below the blades:  the "bump stop". 

If using them bare-handed, once they've slipped down in your hand, it's awfully easy to get pinched by the bump stop! 

Here - right - is the photo at the end of the sequence above, when I open my hand: I've moved my thumb back out of the way, so that you can see where they are sitting in my hand:

I have had several very nice little blood blisters from that, thank you very much.

So on balance, once these posh ones bite the dust, I'm going back to the cheap and cheerful ones, which I shall use and abuse with impunity!

 

 

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Boots: do expensive products ie Nikwax, actually work?

I've written about waterproof boots (and the impossibility of finding such a thing) many times.

(*quavering old-lady voice*)

Many, many times.....

*grins*

But here's a variation on a theme: if you accept that I have given up on finding any product that will make my leather work-boots waterproof, then is is still worth treating the leather, to keep it supple and lovely?

I started a new pair of work boots a couple of months back, and I made a resolution that I would keep the leather in tip-top condition, and see if that helped with the whole "lack of water proof ness" problem. This was due to several comments I'd received on other articles, stating that it was vital to keep the leather in good condition, otherwise no so-called waterproofing product would work, anyway.

So I started out using Nikwax on the left boot, and cheap old handcream on the right boot.

This was because I had bought some Nikwax to try to waterproof an earlier pair - I don't know why I keep on buying it, I've tried Nikwax over the years on horsey gear, on walking gear, and now on working gear, and it has never worked in the past. But heyho, always willing to try... I'd bought a new tube of the stuff, it failed... but I thought I would give it one more try, as a leather conditioner.

The other one was treated in literally any old hand cream which I happened to have to hand. I think it was Atrixo, but frankly they are all pretty much the same stuff.

So, at least 2-3 times a week, the left boot received some Nikwax, and the right boot received an equal amount of Atrixo, rubbed in for the same amount of time.

And here's the result: both boots have sogged up equal amounts of water.

There is no discernible difference between them, at all.

To remind you, the left boot (that's the one with my left foot inside it, so it's the one on the right, in the photo) had expensive Nikwax rubbed into it.

The other had cheap hand-cream.

By the end of the day, the water had soaked right the way up the boots - right - and there was no difference at all between one boot and the other.

There was a slight difference when applying the product: Nikwax tended to have a very inconsistent consistency, if you see what I mean: sometimes it would be thick and toothpasty, other times it would run off the boot and trickle onto the newspaper.  (Yes, I clean and treat my boots on newspaper, to prevent damage to my carpets. Aren't I good?! )  And yes, I did shake the tube beforehand, it just seemed to be quite hard to mix. The handcream, on the other hand, was super-easy to use, being the same texture all the way through.

They were both absorbed equally well: possibly the hand cream was a little easier to work in properly, as it had a creamier texture.

And the handcream had the added advantage that if I'd applied too much, I could just rub the excess into my hands, ha! ha!  I would not be doing that with the Nikwax....

So, dear readers, I can assure you that if you want to apply any conditioning product to your leather boots, you might as well treat them as though they are your hands, and just use your normal hand cream on them.

In fact, this is the perfect use for all those over-perfumed fancy hand creams which well-meaning people give as gifts, especially at the Christmas end of the year!

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How to: pee discreetly, while working outdoors. For ladies, obviously.

As you might have gathered, I have written a book on How To Be A Successful Self-Employed Gardener. 

You must be aware of this, because I indulge in relentless self-publicity, and there are links to it all over this website.

Oh look, here's another one!

I also do regular one-day seminars on this subject, and one of the highlights of the day - or so I have been told - is my demonstration on how to pee outdoors.

(One reviewer, after the seminar: "The demonstration on how to pee outdoors was, by itself, worth the cost of the seminar."  I think I'm flattered...)

I am constantly getting questions about how to cope with this issue: so many people ask me about this, or tell me that it's a problem for them,  that I have decided I might as well put the information on here, in order to reach a wider audience: normally I just direct them to The Book, but frankly this information is relevant to all ladies who work outdoors (so many Clients are not on site all the time), who go walking (so many public loos have been closed due to Covid), or who do outdoor activities where there are either no loos at all, or inadequate ones.

 Ok, I may lose a few book sales (although there is a TON of other information in there, go on, check it out for yourself! 128,000 words, that's easily the size of a normal paperback!), but as a public service to all women out there..... let's do it! So here we are, lifted from my excellent book on ... *laughs*

Right, what's the problem?

Well, that's easy: Men have external plumbing, all they have to do is unzip, heave it out, and let fly. We may be able to tell, by their stance, what they are doing, but we can't actually "see" anything.

So easy for the guys, so difficult for us gals. *sigh* Not every garden has an outside loo, not every Client is at home while we are working: thanks to Covid-19, it's not always advisable to go into their houses:  and not everyone can hold it in for four hours at a time, so there are times when it will be necessary to have a pee in the shrubbery... but there are ways to make it easier.

Always, always go to the loo just before you leave home. Make it part of your routine: check for phone, hanky, paperwork, tool bag, water: go to the loo, leave for work.

Inspect each garden for a suitable place: a shed is best, but a thick shrubbery can work, if you are certain you are alone in the garden. Be wary of garages in case they have security cameras. If in doubt, ask. Some Clients will give you a key so you can use their house loo, but with keys comes responsibility, so I generally try to manage without.

Position: most girls, when forced to pee outdoors,  make the mistake of dropping their trousers round their ankles and crouching, as though on an invisible toilet: invariably the flow will go forwards, not downwards, and will soak your clothes. It is actually better to kneel, knees apart, body upright, which keeps your trousers dry and throws the liquid forwards. Try it in your (empty) bath some time, you will see what I mean.

Better still is to practice peeing standing up: SmugAmanda used to swear by the wide-necked plastic pickle jar which was small enough that she didn't have to drop her trousers right round her ankles in order to use it.  (A mug, by the way, would seem to be ideal, having a handle and all, but surprisingly, it's not big enough. Ask me how I know....) Start by peeing into it in the shower: then stand in the empty bath, dressed but barefoot, and practice using it while clothed. The trick is to get it “high” enough: hold it really close to your body, so none of the pee escapes onto your leg.

But be warned that you will never again buy a jar of pickles from the local village fete.....

If you prefer the low-tech answer, most of us use those flexible plastic buckets-with-handles, or tub-trugs/gorilla tubs, as they are called,  for collecting weeds: they are ideal as you can squash them easily between your thighs, hoist them up high, and let fly.  Emptying them is completely innocuous: slosh some water from the watering can into the bucket after use, then, paper hanky and all, tip the contents onto the compost heap, no-one will ever know. The only drawback is if your bucket is a bit muddy on the outside... ask me how I know... yes, I got mud all over my legs one day (sigh).

A better, but slightly more fiddly, solution is to use Nappy Sacks.  These are small plastic bags with handles, designed for pooey nappies, therefore sturdy and waterproof. I used to use these all the time during my camping days... you can slip your trousers down to mid-thigh, then hold the Nappy Sack with one handle in front, one behind you. Pull it up firmly, let fly: when finished, slip the front handle over your wrist, let go of the back handle,  bring the half-full (warm, eeugh) bag to the front, slip the second handle over the same wrist: with the other hand, wipe, put the tissue into the bag. Tie the handles, set it gently down on the ground, reassemble clothing. You can then tip the liquid out of the bag onto the compost heap, or behind the shed, and take the bag and soggy tissue home for disposal.

So, all of those are what you might call low-tech solutions, and they all share the same drawback - they require us to drop our trousers, thus revealing our posteriors to all and sundry. There must be a better way, I hear you cry.

Yes, there is!

Finally, the high-tech answer - and my current best solution - is the P-Style.  It's the French-designed answer to the Australian-designed She-pee, and is so much better, in every way.

This is a simple, open-topped chute,  designed so that you unzip, but don't unbutton, your trousers: a brilliant idea, very quick, very discrete.  You just work the chute in through the zip opening: up under the t-shirt, down inside the knickers:  point it slightly downwards,  and let fly. Can't wait for winter so I can try writing my name in the snow....

Again, start by practising in an empty bath, clothed but barefoot, until you work out how far “back” it has to sit. Once you get the hang of it, it's wonderfully easy, and is not only great for work, but has revolutionised my long-walks-in-the-country, as well.

With a P-style, all you need is a small amount of sheltering foliage - you don't need to be totally hidden from view, as you do with all the other methods. And if you are not comfortable leaving a small puddle of urine behind, you can pee into your bucket, then rinse it out and tip it on the compost heap.

I suggest taking a nappy sack as well, then once you've finished, and wiped, you can tuck the tissue (you don't need to wipe afterwards, properly speaking - yes, it's that well designed - but personally I prefer a quick wipe) inside the chute and pop the whole thing into the nappy sack, shove it in your pocket, and take it back to your car or workbag. Very discrete. I even made a special little pouch for mine, from shower curtain fabric, to keep it clean, and so that I could leave a couple of paper hankies tucked inside it at all times, ready for action.

Unless someone is standing right in front of you, there is absolutely nothing for them to see. And if they are standing right in front of you, well, they might get pee on their shoes, and serve them right!

So there you have it: just type the word Pstyle into your search engine and click on the "shopping" tab to find them for sale: the price is about £15 including postage, they come in a range of colours, and I now have at least five of them, each with their own shower-curtain pouch, and stock of paper hankies. One lives in my chainsaw-and-chipper equipment bag: one in my climbing-equipment rucksack: one in my normal walking rucksack: one in the boot of the car: and one on the hall stand, in case I am going out but not going either working, or climbing, or walking: I can't actually remember the last time I left the house other than to go working, or climbing, or walking, but you never know, one day... and if I do, then I will pop the hall-stand P-style into my handbag. 

Just in case.

Now, before we leave this subject, I would just like to offer a couple more pieces of advice:

1) In all these cases, don't wait until you are bursting to go, as that's when accidents happen! If you are getting uncomfortable, just go and do it.

2) If the worst comes to the worst, and you can't get along with any of these suggestions, then you will simply have to stop work and either drive home, or drive to the nearest public loo. Either make up the time afterwards, or reduce your bill for that day.

3) If you have a problem in this area, don't let it stop you working as a gardener - you might choose to work no more than three hours at a time, or you might choose to only work for Clients with a proper facility that you can use.

4) And don't think that by not drinking, you will reduce the problem: as the urine in our bladders becomes more and more concentrated, it can “irritate” the lining of the bladder, making us want to go to the loo, even though it is not “full”.  Weird, huh? There is a logical feeling that by drinking, you will “fill” your bladder so that it needs to be emptied, but that's not quite how it works.  After all, how many times have you been to the loo in the morning, ie “emptied your bladder”, gone out to work, or shopping, or whatever, and not had anything to drink for hours, then still needed to go to the loo as soon as you got home?

So have a couple of glugs of water every so often  - it's very important to stay hydrated,  it won't make you want to go to the loo more often, and in fact if you don't, you are more likely to have an urgent need to pee.

Right, I hope you all enjoyed that fascinating venture into the world of peeing - discreetly - in public, and that I won't have to mention it again!!

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How to: Keep your feet warm in winter!

 Oops, I've just noticed that I haven't added any new articles for over a week - sorry everyone, I've been busy!

It always makes me laugh, when non-gardeners say things like "what do you do, in winter, when there's no work to be done in the garden?"

Hollow laugh, said she, rushed off her feet, trying to squeeze in all the extra jobs with the days getting shorter...

Anyway, a quick post today: cold feet.

Yes, we all suffer from this, some of us more than others. Trying to work with frozen toes is miserable, and takes all the joy out of working outside, and we had our first hard frost a couple of days ago, which means we were standing on icy-cold concrete, and trying to keep off the frosted grass, because if you walk across hard-frozen grass, it breaks the stems, and in a couple of days, there will be crushed, brown grass all over the lawn.

In this case, it wasn't really a hard frost, but was enough to make our boots wet, and our toes cold.

I wasn't too badly off, because I wear thick thermal socks, and I have extra insoles in my boots. Not the useless lambswool ones, I find they don't help at all, and after the first wear, the fluffy wool has packed down hard, so they're not exactly "trapping a layer of warm air" any more.

No, I use this type of insole, the sort you get in walking boots:

They slip inside your boots, over the existing insoles, and give you a layer of extra padding ("ooh! Comfy!") and because they are made of similar material to those camping mats, they are well insulated, so they help to stop the cold striking up through your soles.

So between them, the thick thermal socks, and my practice of doing some vigorous raking of leaves as soon as I arrive, I was moderately warm, right from the start.

My colleague was not so lucky, and was suffering with really cold feet.

Afterwards, being a helpful soul, I did some research into chemical hand and foot warmers: I've already discovered these wonderful gadgets for warming hands:

These are not for work - but I've found them to be great for standing around outside: and for going on long walks in winter, they can be slipped inside your gloves, keeping your hands nice and toasty.

"I wonder if they do them for feet?"

Yes, they do: but they seem to be small pads to go under the heel, or just under the toes, and I thought they would spend their whole time migrating up and down inside my boots, which would be annoying.

 

Further research found these ones, right:  which go under the whole length of the foot.

They are "single use" which is not very eco, but frankly they are wonderful! 

I found that if you take them out of your shoes/boots when you don't need them, ie lunchtime, and put them together face-to-face, then seal them inside a grip-top plastic bag, ie to exclude air, then they cool down and go inactive. 

After lunch, open the bag, slip them back in the boots, and in a very short time they are warm again.

Day 1: super warm, almost "hot" and, as it was not a particularly cold day, I was so hot all over by mid-morning that I took them out. I was down to working in a tee-shirt by then, I'm not sure how much "hot feet" contributed to that, as opposed to "working hard". After an hour or so, I put them back in!! Standing on wet grass was quite cold to the feet...

After work, I put them back in the plastic bag.

Day 2: opened the bag, flapped them about a bit to let the air get to them, hey presto, gentle warmth. Back in the boots, out we went, a second day of much more gentle warmth, but very pleasant. They were starting to feel a bit lumpy underfoot, but I found that I could squeeze any lumps between my fingers, and crush them. They appear to be granular.

Day 3: repeated day 2 - still some gentle warmth! Much less so, but enough to take the chill off the cold wet ground, and I was super-cosy all day long. Had a few "Princess and the Pea" moments, as they were definitely getting more granular underfoot, which necessitated a bit more squeezing and crushing with the fingers.

The instructions say to take them out for 15 mins every 3 hours to reactivate them, but they are so super-warm that I found that quite unnecessary.

And as you saw, they are very slim, and don't take up any room to speak of, inside the boot.

All in all, better value than expected, well worth it, even as a single-use item. Next time, I'll slip them straight into my boots and put the boots straight on, to reduce their exposure to the air, to extend their use.  Who knows, I might even get four days' use out of them!!

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Non-glyphosate weedkillers: truth, or terrible?

 Oh blimey, here we go again: as Mal (*waves*) pointed out in an earlier article, I am still blithely suggesting that, if you have to use a weedkiller, then it is better to go for one which is just glyphosate, rather than one of the "instant effect" cocktails which are mostly defoliant, and which don't - literally - get to the root of the problem. But it is getting increasingly difficult to buy glyphosate-only weedkiller.

Besides, a lot of people want to avoid chemicals, in which case, you might think about going for a so-called Organic Weedkiller: the two commonest ones are Acetic acid (vinegar, old story, doesn't really work very well: seriously, would Monsanto have gone to all the effort of developing and testing glyphosate if vinegar did the trick?) and, the latest craze, Pelargonic acid.

Interestingly, Roundup are pushing their non-Glyphosate weedkiller: this is "interesting" to me, and somewhat amusing, because Roundup used to be the brand name of the only glyphosate weedkiller on the market, until it came out of patent around the year 2000, and suddenly all the "sheds" (B&Q, Homebase, etc) were able to sell their own-brand glyphosate weedkiller, for half the price.

So now Roundup are fighting back, by piggybacking on the current scare stories about glyphosate, to present us with their glyphosate-free alternative: 

They are calling it Roundup Naturals, which is just hilarious... but we'll get onto that, later.

So, what's it all about?

The active constituent is Pelargonic acid, also called nonanoic acid, which is an organic compound with structural formula CH3(CH2)7CO2H. 

Impressed, huh? 

Oh all right, I admit it, I looked it up.  

More detail: it is a nine-carbon fatty acid: it is a colourless, oily liquid, with an unpleasant, rancid odour.

Mmm, yummy.

The pack boasts;

 "Weeds may show first effects within 2-3 hours of spraying"  

Ooh, that's exciting, we all love a quick result, don't we? Except that, as gardeners, we know that the quick result is rarely the best one.... and a weedkiller which has quick results is nothing more than a defoliant: it is not a proper answer to the problem, because the weed will grow back from the undamaged roots.

So where does this unpleasant, rancid-odour acid come from? The clue is in the name, the original compound was extracted from Pelargonium. Yes, those smelly conservatory plants, relations of our common garden Geranium. (Geraniums? Gerania? Who knows...) The leaves contain an oil, from which Pelargonium acid can be extracted. Does this mean that it is a natural, organic product? No, it does not! *laughs*.  It is merely named after the plant which originally provided the substance: most of it is now synthesized. 

Next question: whether naturally harvested, or synthesized, how does it actually work?

"Nonanoic acid (Pelargonic acid) is produced naturally in plants when the fatty acid Oleic acid is oxidised by stress associated free radicals to form Pelargonic acid. When left unchecked Pelargonic acid denatures internal cells walls eventually causing plant death."

Translation: vast amounts of it will destroy the cell walls in the soft green parts of the plant, leading to fast wilting and death. 

However, the roots are unaffected, and woody growth is unaffected: it only works on young, soft, green growth.

What else do we know about this wonder product?

It's quite scary, actually: Pelargonic Acid is also used in riot control: if you don't believe me, check it out for yourself.  To be exact, Pelargonic acid vanillylamide (PAVA or nonivamide) is the product - and, as an aside, the majority of PAVA is derived from synthesis rather than extraction from natural plant sources, so does it really count as "organic"? -  which is used, but in order for PAVA to work, it must be directed at the subject's eyes. The pain to the eyes is reported to be higher than that caused by CS tear gas.

Lovely.

My next question is, would you drink it?

"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved pelargonic acid as a food additive, and as an ingredient in solutions used commercially to peel fruits and vegetables. These approvals indicate that FDA considers it safe for humans to eat food containing small amounts of pelargonic acid."

The above quote is taken from a US EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) document titled "Pelargonic Acid Fact Sheet". (Although it is dated 1st April, not sure if that is relevant or not...) It should be reassuring, to read that the same product we are using to kill our weeds, is used to peel our fruit and veg, but somehow, that information makes me vaguely uncomfortable. Maybe, because it underlines that small amounts of it are good and useful (ie the food preparation) but when applied in large quantities, it kills things. And perhaps I'm not comfortable with the concept of applying "a lot" of a chemical.

Moving on to other bits of Small Print on the label:

1)  "contains CMIT/MIT" 

Ever wondered that that means? Well, CMIT is - brace yourself - Chloromethyl-methylisothiazolone. There, now you know. 

Sorry, what was that? You want to know what it is, and what it does? Well done, these are the questions that you should be asking, if you are really committed to organic, earth-friendly, weed control. 

Put simply, it's a preservative, to inhibit the growth of mould, ie to extend shelf life. So, your so-called organic product is stuffed full of chemicals to stop it going stinky in the bottle. 

2) "Maximum number of treatments: 4 per year."

How many people actually read that, I wonder? And of those, how few obey it? Just above that command, there is the instruction to "Repeat as necessary after a minimum of 7 days" so that cuts it down to only being used twice a year. Hmm.  And also suggests that the product regularly does not work very well, and needs to be reapplied. Hmm, again.

3) "It is most effective on young weeds, smaller than 10cm"

Good to know - won't have any effect on the main crop of weeds, then? And, as we already know, it won't affect anything with a stout, woody stem - which makes it great to use for teeny tiny weeds under the hedge, but won't do a thing for brambles.

Now for a minor diversion: the same product is available in Australia under the brand name of "Slasher" (*snorts through nose*) and their marketing information proudly states:

"SLASHER Weedkiller contains 525g/L (Pelargonic acid) Nonanoic acid. Pelargonic acid is a fatty acid which occurs naturally as esters in the oil of pelargonium plants. It can be made synthetically, however, to meet Organic Standards the Pelargonic acid in SLASHER is produced sustainably from biologically based raw materials using an environmentally sustainable patented method  of extraction."

What does this mean? It means that any product which does NOT make that exact statement, is using the artificially synthesized Pelargonic acid, not the "natural" or "organic" stuff. 

Personally, if I had to use a chemical, I'd rather use one that was synthesized and was therefore consistent in strength and effectiveness, and did not require the death of huge numbers of plants, in order to extract it. Call me old-fashioned, but there seems to be a slight mis-match in the concept of " oh goody, we can kill lots more plants in order to extract the herbicide that we need to organically kill these other plants."

There's another teeny tiny "gotcha" in the instructions for that product: it states that you must agitate (shake) the spray bottle every 5-10 minutes, in order to keep the product "well mixed in the spray water". So if you - like most people - don't bother to read the instructions properly, you will find that the first 9/10ths of the area which you spray is barely affected by the weedkiller, because you didn't shake the bottle every five minutes, and all the active ingredient has settled to the bottom. Or risen to the top, it doesn't specify which.

 

So, what does all this mean? What, if you are interested, is my opinion? 

I think we should all be very careful of glyphosate alternatives for the moment. Many of them are products which have been press-ganged into weed-killing, having formerly had very different uses. And, whatever your opinion of Monsanto and the whole glyphosate issue, it did go through stringent, lengthy testing, before it was released to the general public.

Finally, getting on my soapbox a bit, the term "earth friendly organic herbicide" is a logical fallacy.  It is no more than marketing, intended to sell a product.  Pouring chemicals on the earth is NOT friendly, nor is it ORGANIC.  The whole phrase is carefully designed to sell their glyphosate alternatives....... as you will know if you have read any of my articles on bramble removal (of which there are now many! Go to the "search" box, top left of the page, and type in the word "brambles", if you would like to know more on that subject), I am not in favour of weedkiller, but I accept that in some situations - ie brambles! - there is no realistic alternative. 

But - and it's a big but (no jokes, please) - I will state again:

The earth-friendly, organic way to deal with weeds, is to dig them out and compost them.

 

Well, this brief article has turned into a lengthy one: but I do feel that there is no point me sitting here and just typing "Organic weedkillers? Nah, don't bother, they're crap" because what good does that do? How would that help you to make your own minds up?  Instead, I like to do the research, find out some facts, and present them to you, all neatly wrapped up in one - looooong - article.

And I hope that it helps you to understand what you are buying: if it did, then, seriously, please consider making a donation, or becoming a Patron.

 

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Beeswax: waterproofing boots, Part 27

 OK, not really part 27, it just feels that way.

A couple of days ago, I had a comment from Virgil ("Hi, Virgil!") about using dubbin to waterproof leather work boots, which prompted another article on the subject: and while going through a backlog of photos,which were in the folder marked "might be useful for future articles", I found a whole set of photos of my attempts to use Beeswax.

In an earlier article, I had received some criticism of the state of my boots:"you can't expect to waterproof cracked, dried, boots," they said. "You really need to feed those boots!" they cried, in horror.

And my method was also criticised: "Heat is essential!" they all shouted at me, "You have to warm up the beeswax with a hairdryer, to get it to soak in properly."

 So,  a couple of years back, I apparently tried again, using a new pair of boots,  and here is the result.

Step 1: first, catch some bees.

Put them into a large bag, and squeeze them until the wax starts to run out - a rolling pin can be useful for getting the last few drops out.

No, I'm joking - just buy the beeswax,..

Easily obtainable via the internet!

Warm it up until it melts: a candle-making double pan is good for this, or put it in a metal bowl over a saucepan of gently boiling water.

Don't use your fondue set, or your chocolate-making equipment: no matter how much you wash it, it will taste of wax forever after. Yes, I know beeswax bears a close relationship to honey, but trust me, it's not the same thing!

Once it is runny, apply it to the boots: be careful not to burn yourself on the metal bowl, or on the liquid wax: be sensible, use a cloth until it's cool enough to do it with your fingers. 

Yes, fingers are the best applicators, otherwise the wax soaks into the cloth or sponge.

Here - right - we have the smeared-on, rubbed-in wax already starting to cool and dry, so at this point, out comes the hair-dryer, to melt it again.

This causes the wax to sink into the leather, which is where we need it to be.

I repeated this step several times, until the leather was gasping "Stop! Enough! I'm full up!", and at that point I let the boots cool down, and then buffed them with a clean cloth.

Now this - left - looked promising: the boots now had a shiny shell on them.

Just in case, I repeated the process one more time: more melted beeswax, more hair-dryer action, more rubbing: then a final buff with the soft cloth.

Nice!

Ah, but would it work?

We'd find out, next day...

In case you're wondering why I have little loops at the lower end of my laces, by the way, it's because the laces are too long - I don't lace them up to the top hole, because of all the bending-at-the-ankles which I do - and if I just tie them as they are, then they drag on the ground and get wet and muddy.

But I can't just chop a bit off, because then they'd fray.

So I work out how long I need them, pull the excess down to the toe end of the lacings, and tie it in a knot.

This has the additional benefit that the laces remain centred:  you don't end up with one loose end longer than the other. Top Tip! Even if your laces are the right length, tie a knot at the middle point, then re-lace them!

Right, getting back to the boots..

Here we are, quite literally out in the field, and about two hours into the morning.

The toes are wet, but shiny-wet, rather than matte soaked-wet. 

The apparent cracks and creases are where the beeswax is working its way out of the leather, where the boot bends.  Slightly weird... no-one mentioned that, on any of the internet research I did, before attempting this.

So, good news: lunchtime - dry socks. Oh goody!

Here's the bad news: 

Two days later, ie after two days of wearing them, the beeswax is all migrating out.

So my boots look like nothing on earth, considering they were new, two days earlier: they are coated with crusty beeswax, which was dropping off in all directions, and getting up my fingernails - urgh! - when I handled the boots. 

Stylish.  Not.

I tried using the hair-dryer again, to melt it back in, and then to buff them to a shine again, and it worked, sort of: but again, after a day or so of wearing them, they looked like this. 

And I had wet toes again.

So, where does that leave us?

Beeswax, in my opinion, does NOT work to make leather boots waterproof. Not for longer than a couple of hours. And it took me two evenings of hard work to get them waxed in the first place.

On balance, then, I'm sticking with my current regime of alternating between two pairs of boots, changing them at lunchtime if necessary: allowing each pair to dry, then applying any old handcream to them, to keep the leather soft and supple.

If you have any further questions or suggestions, I'd be happy to hear them: but please,  to that person who persistently tries to add robotic comments with clickbait links, to any article I write which mentions waterproofing boots - give it a rest! *laughs*

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How to edge your lawn - "Smartedge"

One of my Clients wanted to neaten a border, and I suggested that the easiest way was to install proper edging, which keeps the lawn out of the bed, and makes it much easier to mow alongside the slightly overhanging Raspberry foliage.

They agreed, which led to a discussion on the best type of edging to use: metal edging, as used in large estates and National Trust properties, is clearly the best and most durable: but it is very, very expensive.  It can be used for straight edges, and for curves: but it's quite hard work to install, and cutting it to length is not trivial!

Then there are wooden strips - left - which look very cottagey, but can only accommodate straight lines: they will also need to be properly installed with pegs at intervals, to which the boards are nailed or screwed,  and in anything other then right-angled joints, you need to do some fancy cutting, as you can see here.

Also, they don't last forever... within just a few years, they will start to rot.

That leaves us with plastic edging, which can do straight lines, and can do curves as well: and that appeared to be the best option here - not least because it can be cut with a knife, or scissors.

So I sent my Client on a voyage of exploration of the internet, to find some plastic edging which they liked.

 

But whatever you do, I warned them, don't even try to use that hideous wavy plastic strip...

Yes, this stuff (right). It is the invention of the devil, I warned them: it never, ever goes in easily, it sags and droops, ruining the shapes of the bed: it looks as though someone has been round your beds with a dough cutter, and within a short time it will have gone brittle in the sun and been smashed to pieces by your mower, flinging shards of green plastic all over the garden. 

Please, just don't use it. 

I can't quite believe that the garden centres are still selling this rubbish, but alas, they are.

Luckily, my Clients heeded the warning, and one day I arrived at work to find a roll of Smartedge waiting for me. 

Before we get onto that, here is the situation: a long, narrow bed, with a ragged lawn edge:

Those bald patches in the lawn are where the daffodils are, and this is part of the problem: the daffodil foliage can't be cut down until - usually - June, so it's not possible to mow this area for much of the early part of the year.

And this allows the edge to get a bit unkempt, as it is not getting any attention.

Hence my suggestion to put a proper edge on it.

Right, let's take a look at this Smartedge stuff, then.

This is a product with two components: a length of nice, sturdy black plastic, with a frill of funny little plastic triangles along the top edge.

You also get a bundle of plastic pegs, intended to go through the triangles.

The plastic has large teeth at the bottom edge - you can just see them in this picture, right - which suggests you can position it, then bang it down into place.

Best not to: unless you use a half-moon edger, or a border spade, to dig out a slot for it (or, to phrase it less confusingly, to cut the edge of the lawn where you intend to install it, to a depth of nearly the full depth of the plastic) (there you go, that was clear, wasn't it?! *laughs*): if you don't do that, you will find that wherever you tap it down into place, the rest of it will pop up. 

This is highly annoying. My Client had tried to install it before I arrived,  and was breathing heavily with frustration; even with two of us trying to hold it in place and tap it down, it just was not working.

So I sent him off to have a cuppa, while I cut out the channel. After that, it was easy enough to get the main strip of plastic in place: but those triangles defeated us!

The instructions say that the triangles are to be pushed into the lawn at an angle of 45 degrees, to anchor the edging into the turf. "You won't even notice them," the instructions say, cheerfully. "The mower will glide over them," they boast.

Yeah, right *with sarcastic inflexion*.  Only if you can get the darned triangles into the lawn, that is.

My Client's lawn was apparently triangle-proof, as the soil was as hard as a rock, and the grass had a mat of impenetrable roots, just where the triangles were supposed to go.

We struggled with it for some time, then took the executive decision to cut off the triangles. After that, it was plain sailing, and no, the triangles were not at all necessary. The un-fringed plastic slid neatly into place, we gently tapped it down:

..and here's a view from the business side, showing how it sits neatly inside the edge of the lawn - I backfilled some of the bare patches - and is buried to about half it's depth, in the soil.

If you look really, really closely, you can even see where we cut the triangles off!

Note, by the way, that the top of the plastic strip is BELOW the height of the grass. 

Here it is - right -  a couple of months later: you can see that the grass has now recovered, as usual, and the edge is straight, and neat. 

 The grass had been mown a few days earlier, but the edges had not been clipped, and that is another aspect of this strong, sturdy edging that appeals to me: if the Client has a hover mower, and sets it quite low, then there is often no need to go round with the edgers, after mowing it.

I have found, in this garden and in others, that if the Client has a wheeled mower - and these days, even the hover mowers tend to have wheels, and a rear roller, in order to get the stripes - then you do still need to go round and edge afterwards, because a wheeled mower doesn't quite cut all the way over the edge. 

For some reason, manufacturers of domestic mowers never make the cutting deck wider than the wheels: in fact, they are usually an inch or so less wide that the wheelbase, which is quite annoying.

Anyway, with a hover mower, no need to clip: but even with a wheeled mower, clipping the edges is super-fast, and very easy, because the plastic keeps your edgers in line, and all you have to do is snip off the overhanging fringe of grass. Dead easy!

If you are wondering how long it will last: well, this is a photo taken five years after installation:

...as you can see, still perfect! 

I was there for a further two years, and over that time, the Raspberries were removed, and replaced with Fig trees and other underplanting - but the Smartedge remained firmly in place.

To summarise, then: 

1) a stout plastic strip, of about 4mm thick, and 125mm (5" ) in height, is about right for  your average domestic garden.

2) Flaps, and pegs, of any sort are an optional extra which could be considered as frivolous and unnecessary.

3) It is always a good idea to unroll the product on arrival, and lay it out on the lawn or drive, to flatten out, before you install it. On a hot summer's day, this only takes an hour or so. Otherwise, overnight is often a good idea, and if it's very springy, you might need to weigh down the ends.

4) Do not attempt to "bang it in": instead, take the time to cut a neat cliff edge to the lawn, nearly but not quite as deep as the edging strip. This is particularly important if you are aiming for straight edges.  Position it, then push it down the last little bit, until it sits - as per the photos - about an inch lower than the actual grass. This is to avoid damage to the mower, and damage to the edging strip.

5) If your lawn is badly wobbly, then you might have to backfill in a couple of places: it is always better to do this (just pinch some spare earth from elsewhere in the garden, the grass will soon grow over any gaps), than to cut the lawn back, and further back, and still further back, in order to get a straight line.

So, no more excuses! Out you get, and sort out those wobbly edges! 

 

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Waterproof leather boots: Nope! Can't be done!

Truly is it said, when two or more gardeners get together, they will talk about the impossibility of finding waterproof working boots...

Quite some time ago, I wrote a couple of articles about the problems I was having with wet feet: first of all I wrote about the various methods I'd tried to waterproof them, including Dubbin. Then, I did a little bit more research, and wrote about my disappointment with Dubbin. 

It was quite amusing, to receive so many comments from people telling me that dubbin works perfectly, when it clearly does not: many of them told me that I was applying it wrongly, despite me describing in some detail, the steps I went through - cleaning and drying the boots beforehand, warming them, hair dryers, blah blah blah. 

Nothing worked.

I tried Beeswax: nope, that didn't work.  I even had one question, asking "Is dubbin the same as Vaseline?" which prompted me to try it: nope, that didn't work either - 

And then there was the great Scotchguard, candle wax and neatsfoot oil experiment: nope, no luck there, either.

Today, I had a new comment from Virgil ("Hi, Virgil! You were always my favourite Tracy brother!") (I expect he's sick and tired of Thunderbird jokes by now....sorry!), who said:

"I know this is an old thread, but very interesting. 

"The dubbin I use has beeswax, cod liver oil, and lard. I assume the beeswax is what is doing most of the waterproofing. But, what is of utmost importance is also treating the welt around the edges of the boot. I am not sure any leather boot is 100% waterproof as water can get in from the top edges and through the lace area if there is enough water. I will say my no lace cowboy boots are as waterproof as it gets. 

"I think these treatments just make things better, but if you are in pouring rain or walking through water puddles, you are going to  get wet."

 Passing over the fact that it's nearly ten years since I wrote those articles, and you would have thought that by now,  technology would have progressed to the point where leather work boots which keep out the water for more than 20 minutes were a real possibility....

...anyway, Virgil, I take your point about the weak points of any pair of boots being the seams.  I don't attempt to paddle in my work boots, but I do have to work in areas with grass and foliage, which quickly soaks the lower half of the boot, and of course that's where the leather uppers are joined to the soles.

Sadly, I've given up on attempting to waterproof my work boots: now, I just change at lunchtime into dry boots and socks, and I have a drying rack permanently in the hall: and once the boots have dried out, I slap on a blob of common or garden hand cream (Nivea Soft works well, I have found), and rub it in all around the toes, the lower part of the boot, and particularly the area across the top of the foot, where they crease up - ie the vulnerable area.

Here - left - are yesterday's boots: they've dried out overnight, and in each case, I've done one boot but not the other, so that you can see the difference.

At present, I'm actually using up an old pot of Atrixo, but it's a very similar consistency to Nivea Soft. (It smells a bit, though, so I'll save the Nivea for my hands, and use up the scented Atrixo on the boots!)

This seems to be enough to keep the leather beautifully supple, and - as I say - I've actually given up trying to get them waterproof. 

So there is the conclusion to this series of articles: NO: it is NOT possible to have waterproof, leather, working boots, for any sort of reasonable price.

Sad, but true! 

 

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Fiskars UP84 long reach pruner - fail!

 Oh dear, I hate it when I damage my tools: ok, it's not as though I treat them like precious objects - they are, after all, working tools - but I still feel guilty.

A couple of weeks ago, just before Christmas,  I had a slight accident with one of my long-handled tools, and it's proving to be annoyingly difficult to fix.

Here's the plot: I used to have the use of a terrific long-handled pruner, which was basically just a hinged knife on an 8' long metal pole. 

 

This is the sort of thing - left. There's a hook at the top, which you hang over the branch to be cut: then you pull the metal lever, and ker-chonk! the branch comes tumbling down.

Simple to use, elegant, easy: for many years, this tool was my mainstay for pruning fruit trees, Wisteria, Passion Flower,  anything which grows above head height, because my business insurance doesn't cover me to go more than 1.5m off the ground. Which means I can't go up ladders.

(Before you start sending me info about insurance companies who would allow me to go up ladders, I am perfectly happy with this restriction, because I hate going up ladders!)

When my dearly-beloved Nissan Primera Estate finally died, after 14 faithful years (*sobs*), forcing me to change my car, my criteria was not so much engine size, 0-60mph (*snorts through nose*) (I'm laughing because when you regularly carry plants and plant material, you really want a car that will accelerate gently and smoothly, to avoid damage...), or what gadgets it had: no, it was more a case of "I must be able to get my 8' long pole into it" and I even took the pole with me, round all the car showrooms. 

Now, why was I so faithful to the long metal pole? Because it was quick, simple, and didn't cause any problems or faff. (As anyone who has ever been my Trainee or Student will tell you, I hate faff!) It would cut through quite large branches with no problem, never needed sharpening, and didn't get stuck up in the tree tops.

When I had to give the long pole back to it's owner (don't ask), I had to find a replacement, which took a while, because most of the long reach pruners have a hideous string-and-pulley arrangement: this sort of thing - 

Why do I hate this style of pruner?

Firstly, all that external stringing - the first time you use it, you realise that strings get tangled up, in branches, in twigs, in fences, on wires: for goodness sake, they even self-tangle!

Then you realise that, no matter how clever the pulley arrangement might be, you still have a degree of "stretch" in the string, so you can't get a good, clean, simple cut with it. You find yourself hanging on to the string, heaving and heaving, as though you were trying to raise the Jolly Roger on a windy day.

And I have nothing whatsoever to say about the added knife: this is a classic example of a "jack of all trades" tool: with the knife attached, the hook and blade can't get to the right branch without getting tangled up with an unwanted branch. And when you want to actually use the saw blade, you find that you can't cut cleanly with all that damned string hanging about the place. I already have a long-reach saw, a conveniently extendable one, which fits easily into the car: it's the cutting knife that I need, and these string-driven things just are not up to the job.

So: after rushing around garden centres like a mad thing, bereft of a long-reach tool and panicking slightly, I managed to track down the Fiskars UP84, a modern-construction tool, which was nearly as long as the 8' pole, and nearly as chunky.

For two years, it worked fine: not quite as good as the dear old metal pole, because they designed it to have a clever, poseable top part (very 'Action Man') in order to allow you to cut an any angle. Quite useless in the real world, of course: at any angle other than 'straight up', you can't see the blade, so you have to guess if you are in the right place. Or not. Also, the old fashioned one was easy to use -  you would hook it over the branch, then once you have the branch, you pull the lever and chonk! there it is done.

With the UP84, you have to push the jaws up at the branch, and there's very little sensory feedback along a nearly-8'-long handle, so you are never quite sure if  you have the branch firmly in the jaws, or not. This means you waste a lot of 'handle operations' with no actual cut, unlike the very positive old-style one. 

Yes, if I could find another old-style one, I'd buy it...

Anyway, the UP84 lasted two years, then a couple of weeks ago, I was tidying up some Beech hedging: the neighbour had contractors in to cut their high Beech hedge, but they hadn't bothered to do all the overhanging bits, so we - next door - were left with an ugly fringe of branches, obstructing the gateway and looking terrible.  Out with the UP84, and chomp, chomp, chomp with the branches. Until there was a chomp, chomp ping! and off went the spring.

It took me a while to work out why the tool suddenly wasn't working - there's a spring across the jaws, which makes them open ready for the next cut. This spring had somehow been pinged off, never to be seen again. (I did try searching for it, but honestly, there was no chance of finding it.)

Here it is, poor thing: spring-less and apparently gasping in exhaustion.

Firstly I checked my understairs cupboard (which is where my tools live) to see what springs I had 'in stock', as it were.

Nope, nothing suitable.

Then I looked online for a replacement spring: Fiskars do a spares set, which includes a new blade - and which costs £35.99!! Ouch! 

All I need is the spring!

 The whole tool cost about £90, by the way, so I suppose buying a spares set would at least be only one third the cost of buying a whole new tool, just for the sake of a spring which probably costs about a quid ....

So I tried to buy just a spring: the gap measures 65mm so that's a start, but I didn't know if 65mm was the size of the springy part, or the size of the whole thing including the attachment loops at each end.

 OK, let's be sensible; we'll buy a box of assorted springs, one of them is bound to be the right size. 

Did that.

Well, the sizes were ok, but they were way too feeble.  I had not used the words "heavy duty spring" in my search, because I thought that would lead me to the sort of suspension springs you get in cars.

I tried eBay: but, not knowing what "loading" the spring ought to be, I don't know how to get one that is strong enough, but not so strong that it's immoveable.

Then I had a brainwave! Let's ask the nice people at Fiskars!

So I emailed them, and asked if they would sell me just the spring, please.

I had found their facebook page, and it was not encouraging: there seemed to be a lot of posts from irate customers, asking why Fiskars had never responded to their emails. Oh dear. But I gave it a few days, and then a reply appeared.

Ooh! Exciting! 

It was from a lady called Laurene and she just asked "How long have you had the UP84?"

Hmm. Either they have changed the specs, and want to make sure that they send me the right one - that's the optimistic viewpoint - or they are going to say 'sorry, out of warranty' in which case I am going to be cross, because I asked if they would sell me a spring - I'm not expecting to get it for free.

I emailed back with the information, and a few days later - hooray! An email from Laurene confirming that they will send me a new spring, free of charge!

What lovely people! My £90 tool will once again work, and I won't have to waste £35 on a full spares kit that I don't need.

And when the spring arrives, I will fit it, and then I will take the pliers to it: the spring - as you can see in this screen-shot, left - has a loop at each end which hooks into the blade at one end, and the body of the tool at the other, and clearly that's how the original one was pinged off - a branch must have caught in it, and flicked it in exactly the right direction to come unhooked.

So I am going to bend over those hooks, to make them into closed loops, so they can't escape again.

And if they're too strong to be bent, then I will add some thin wire, around the loop and around the hole in the blade (and the body) - there's no way I'm letting my replacement spring escape!

So, top marks to Fiskars, excellent customer service, and I'm delighted that, in a few days, this tool will be working perfectly again.

...........

 

Update: well, life is never quite that simple, is it? Fiskars contacted me again, to say that they no longer have any springs for the UP84 in stock.

*glum face*

So, would I prepared to accept a replacement tool, instead? *incredulous face*.

They sent me a link to their catalogue, and I looked through it: the nearest to the UP84 seemed to be the UPx82,

It seems to be a good bit shorter, only 1.6m as opposed to 2.4m, but it is half the price.

Hmm, not much use to me, though.

The other "long reach" tool is the UP86, now superseded  by the UPx86, which is telescopic - problem there, is that a) it might not fit inside my car, and b) telescopic tools tend to get wobbly and weaker, the longer they get.

That's why I loved the original simple pole with bypass blade on the end.

I  notice that all these new UPx tools have the same unwelcome poseable head, but I note that they've added an orange plastic extension: perhaps they listened to my complaints about not being able to hook it over the branch?

Anyway, neither of those two options seemed to be terribly welcome, so I made an alternative suggestion to Fiskars: would they be prepared to send me courtesy spares set? The £36 set? Cheaper for them, than a whole new tool: and easier to post: and they would be winding down their spares anyway. 

And they agreed! "It'll take a month or more to arrive" warned the very nice Laurene, from  Fiskars, but I said that was ok, I would just have to manage without it until then. 

Secretly, I couldn't quite see why they couldn't break open on of the spares packs, and pop the spring in an envelope to me, but heyho, time seems to be more costly than money to big companies, if you see what I mean: to get someone to do that, would involve instructing them, they'd then have to physically go and get a spares pack, break it open, pack up the spring, dispose of the unwanted bits: yes, I can see their point, easier to send me an entire spares pack.

Which they did.

It took forever to get here, thanks to Brexit: it came from Eindhoven, via Appledoorn, where it sat for a good month or more: then it was released by customs, and made it across the channel to Stanford le Hope, where it sat for another couple of weeks: it was booked out for delivery two weeks ago, but didn't make it, and went back to Stanford le Hope... you get the picture. But UPS were very diligent, and almost every day for two months, they send me an email regretting that my shipment was delayed due to Brexit.

Finally, yesterday, the 12th March, I looked outside to see a flat package sitting in my porch. 

It had arrived! 

30 seconds later, I'd unpacked it, and was trying to fit the spring.

Half an hour later, I did it!

There you go, new spring wrestled into place, with the help of a pair of pliers and a lot of patience.

So well done Fiskars, and in particular to Laurene, who managed to get it all sorted out and organised for me.

But now, before I use it, I am going to find a way to attach some sort of retainer onto that spring, because I can't bear the thought of losing another one!

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